Why you shouldn't have your church on speed-dial...

There are two things you should know before I tell you what happened last night. Number one, I have a distinctive laugh. Very distinctive. Number two, my church's phone number is on speed-dial on our phone.

So we were watching "Surviving Christmas" last night. I know, I know, it got horrible reviews, but my Dad said it was funny, and we have similar taste, so... One of the plot points is that this rich young man hires these people to pretend to be his family for Christmas. He then begins to fall in love with these people's daughter. His ex-girlfriend and her parents come to visit his "family". The actor who's playing grandpa is hitting on the mom, who's supposed to be his daughter. The young man is making out in the kitchen with the girl pretending to be his sister. The reaction from the ex-girlfriend and her snobby mother is hilarious.

So anyway, I'm cackling away with my husband, and I say "the grandpa's hitting on the mom and the brother and sister are making out!" Then the family heads upstairs for a tour of the rest of the house. The younger son is staring in shock and horror at a picture of his mom in lingerie he found on the internet under "middle-age hotties". They all scurry out of his room and he soon follows, throwing his computer monitor down the stairs to crash on the floor. By now I'm howling with laughter and say to my hubby, "Well, now he's cured of internet porn."

It was at this moment that I looked down and noticed our phone. See, I was sitting on the love seat, which is a rocker. Somehow the phone had gotten tossed under the corner of the love seat, and as I rocked forward while laughing hysterically, I had hit some button, turning the phone on. I picked up the phone and turned it off. But then I started thinking. Did I actually call someone? Someone who heard me laughing about material that, while innocent, sounded totally inappropriate? Or someone whose machine recorded all of this?

I picked up the phone and hit re-dial. That is when I heard, "Thank you for calling the Colville Free Methodist Church. Our service hours are..." The last phone call that anyone intentionally made from our home phone was when my husband called a guy from work earlier that evening about gaming over the internet. I have no idea how long the phone was on, or at what point the church's machine turned off. But my pastor or our church secretary may be getting an ear-ful this morning!

Squirming with embarrassment,
Carrie